You are enough, You have enough, You do enough.

You are enough,you have enough,you do enough

I’ll keep this brief.

We are constantly told that we aren’t doing enough — that we should achieve more, want more, be more, get more. The truth is, you have everything you need. You are everything you need. You are doing your best right now.

So print this image out and put it where you can see it everyday as a reminder of your enoughness!

xo

 

 

Don’t Fall Into the Trap of Weight-Loss Resolutions

It’s the time of year when everyone is talking about resolutions. Resolutions to buy less and be more; Resolutions to spend more time with friends and family instead of in front of the TV; and of course, resolutions to lose weight.

New Year's Resolutions

Just writing that sentence triggers me immensely. I’ve had decades of resolutions that were focused on losing weight once and for all. Thank God the last resolution I made was to not make resolutions anymore — especially about weight loss. I find them fraught with weighty expectation and inevitable disappointment.

If you haven’t already, you will soon be bombarded with ads for the latest exercise craze, discounted gym memberships, or the diet book that will finally change your life. Yep. It’s THAT time of year. And I fucking hate it. Even as a fat positive activist, I still find it all so overwhelming. 

Just for once, I’d like to get the message on January 1st that I’m OK just as I am. And because I know I won’t see that message on any billboard anytime soon, then I’ll do it — for you and for me!

billboard you are beautiful

It’s certainly not wrong to want to lose weight or get fit, unless the desire is comes from a place of wanting to meet an unattainable version of yourself that someone else thinks is what you need. In that case, I am emphatically anti-weight loss. The reasons have to be internal. They must come from a genuine desire not to please anyone but yourself. And for many of us, myself included, that’s almost impossible.

lose-hate-not-weight

Even though I’m a size acceptance activist, I still have the occasional thought about losing weight. And it’s almost never about how I will feel physically. Almost always it’s about what I will look like, and how my life will be better. I don’t like admitting that, but it’s true. Thankfully these thoughts don’t come up nearly as much as they used to. But I have a history of disordered eating and self-loathing which I must put into check every day.  

Just so you know, not everyone who is fat or chubby wants to be thin. Advertisers would have you believe it, but it ain’t true. I know too many women (and men) who have found beauty, strength, and acceptance in their large bodies. And I’d like to think I’m one of them (though I still struggle). Their stories are a reminder of what it is to have serenity around our bodies, and I absolutely NEED those messages in my life.

Check these hotties out!

 

Vanessa fierce
Vanessa of Sweet Leigh Sewn

Aarti swimsuit

Aarti of Curves Become Her

Processed with MOLDIV

Margot Meanie

Please know that if you are feeling the resolution blues, it’s ok. You’re not alone. Your body is perfect. Yes, even your fat rolls, jiggly thighs and wide hips! Most people in the world look like you — not Beyonce. I promise!

There is so much body positive stuff out there to support you on your journey. Of course I’m here for you always, but here are some other peeps who are talkin’ the talk too:

Today I am loving myself. Today I compare myself to no one. Today I am enough.

Happy New Year!

xo

The Right to Take up Space Part II

My last post was about how as women we’ve been taught to make ourselves small and invisible in the world. This post is about how to stop hiding and take up as much space as you fucking well please.

There are many ways to take up space in a patriarchal society. Here are some suggestions:

  1. When on a first date, don’t take tiny bites of your undressed salad. Instead, eat the food you want to eat and in the portion sizes you desire. Eat as if you were hanging with your girlfriends at a slumber party. If your date comments on your appetite, ask if they’re going to finish that last bite of steak, and then pluck it off their plate, and into your mouth. Don’t forget to flash a huge smile before asking for the dessert menu!

eating cake2. Use all your big words and your f bombs whenever you want to, especially in settings where men tend to dominate the space. And don’t think of apologizing for one minute.

somee hilarious

3. Don’t try to hide your intelligence because your worried people will call you a show off. If others can’t handle it, it’s because they’re insecure. Or stupid. And really, who needs stupid friends?

4..Sit on the train, plane, or bus with multiple bags and take up lots of seats. Only make space for another woman or an elderly person who needs to sit down.

women taking up space on train

Ok, she is getting a pedicure. I love it!

5. Wear whatever the fuck you want. Fuck flattering. You’re gorgeous and a role model for others.

fuck flattering

6. Stop dieting. Stop thinking about dieting. Eat what feels good to you and your body. If that means you eat ice cream every night, then so be it!

7.. Don’t tolerate sexual harassment. The next time you get cat called, shout “heel! good boy” at the offending fool.

cat calling8.. Encourage your daughters, nieces, and all the young girls in your life to focus on their own interests. Tell them to raise their hands during class and to run for student government. Never scold them with “that’s not ladylike.” Teach the boys in your life to respect girls and women and to make space, not always take space.

girls raising hands

9. Revel in your feminine power. Women bring balance into the world. Tap into your inner goddess.

the_divine_feminine_by_kittenpants2

10. Say what’s on your mind, even if it’s hard. Let others be uncomfortable for once. Besides, passive aggression is for douche bags.

11.  Love yourself without measure!

love-yourself

What are some other ways that you like to take up space? Leave your suggestions in the comments.

In solidarity,

Pia