Why I’m Abandoning Heels For the Forseable Future

Damn it — my feet hurt!  Rude. I love heels.  I love how they look on my feet and how sexy my legs look whilst wearing them.  I do not, however, love how fucking painful they are.  In my 20’s and early 30’s I could handle them no problem.  I could dance all night long and deal with the discomfort.  But as I’ve gotten older, I have become less and less able to cope with the pain that heels cause me.  And for a long time I thought as a fat girl I had to wear heels to look “taller and leaner.”  But frankly, now I care less about what other people think about my size or my fashion sense. 

Yes. I know you do too.

I recently attended the 5-year blogiversary of The Curvy Fashionista with my girls, including Michelle of Zaftig Times, who always looks vintage chic.  I remember first meeting her at the POSH LA Fashion Week event last March and we talked about how she never wears heels anymore because they’re just too uncomfortable. At the time I wasn’t quite ready to give them up, but it did get me thinking about what I was willing to sacrifice.  Was I willing to sacrifice the health of my feet for the sake of an outfit?  Yes, I was.  But not so much anymore.  Maybe this is sort of like a New Year’s non-resolution.  Sure, why not?

Michelle, Julia, Me, Christine on the red carpet #tcfturns5

Anyway, at the blogiversary party I wore an ethereal black and white number (see above) with a pair of Calvin Klein flats in leopard and patent leather. They are divine and, though I try not to play favorites with my shoes, these are kind of my everything right now. In fact, I think I hear a choir of angels singing in the background…I felt so cute in those shoes and I danced and walked and was comfortable all night long.  I didn’t feel any less cute just because I wasn’t wearing heels. OK, there was perhaps a tiny part of me that wished I were taller, but that faded quickly as I watched and overheard other women in super high heels sitting down, complaining of foot pain

Calvin Klein, Size 11, Nordstrom Rack, $55

Like many women, I adore shoes!  Yes, I’m a feminist who loves shoes. Get over it. Shoes are my vice and I never tire of shopping for them.  At a size 11, it can sometimes be tough to find shoes that fit my long narrow feet without having to spend a fortune.  So, when I’m in Nordstrom Rack or Marshalls or TJ Maxx, I always head for the shoe section. And I’ve found some terrific deals too.

Clockwise from top left: Nordstrom blue suede loafers $50; 
Coach oxfords $39; Mix No. 6 metallic leopard loafers $29; 
Diane Von Furstenberg red suede & metallic slippers $119 (bday gift)

Flats have become so chic in recent years that I actually feel appropriate wearing them to dressy events.  These days anything goes, and I’m eternally grateful.  I can see myself being known for my splendid flat shoe collection and getting a spread in Skorch Magazine, where I am naked in a tub full of blinged out, feathery, bright flats, sipping a glass of champagne of course.

Hey Skorch, this is the tub I was thinking of. Thanks!

My point in sharing all this, is that if you are like me — fat and a lover of fashion — you don’t have to sacrifice style just because you hate wearing heels. Heels are not the only option, especially if you don’t care about looking thinner. Flats look great with skater skirts, pin-up dresses, skinny jeans and wide leg trousers alike.  Do some experimenting with your wardrobe and you’ll discover a whole new world of FUN in flats.

ciao for niao,

P.S.  I will probably still have to wear heels in photo shoots.  That’s the exception to the rule. Ok, I’m done now.

My Interview with Velvet D’amour

Velvet, Velvet, Velvet.  There are no words to fully describe the divaliciousness of this woman.  I was recently lucky enough to interview the fashion photographer, founder of Vol Up 2 magazine, model and size acceptance activist.  She was in her Paris home, taking a break from editing some photos from a recent London photo shoot, when we made time to chat.  I had been following Velvet online for the last couple of years, and was so inspired by her beauty, honesty, confidence, grace, wit, and humor.  Needless to say that when she agreed to be interviewed by me, I was over the moon. I was also a nervous wreck.  I had no idea what to expect.  Could the seemingly cool diva end up being elusive and aloof?  Nope.  Not a chance in hell.  Here’s what she told me…
ME:  How did you begin in the modeling industry?
VDA: I was emulating mainstream (straight size) work in my photos and it ended up getting me the jobs because my book was so different than what the other plus size girls had. And my style was more outrageous and more editorial than what mainstream plus girls had in their books. And that ended up resonating with Galliano and Gaultier and got me on my way.  
ME: That’s quite a story!  I started my blog a few years ago and you were one of the people I looked to for inspiration. I so appreciate that. 
VDA: Thanks…you know, I’m happy to have been around a long time.  It’s great to see it all evolve.  In the early days there was like only one magazine that was really fetishy–Dimensions. There was also BBW magazine, Radiance, and other more feminist underground, wheat germy magazines.  I remember I was dating a body builder at the time and in our mailbox would be Muscle Mania and then there would be BBW.  It was so funny.
ME: What changes do you see happening in the media now in terms of our acceptance of plus size women and who we can look up to?
VDA: I think the most amazing thing is that’s come from us.  It’s not like one day the media said, let’s let the fatties in.  I think we, especially as bloggers, saw there was nothing available and created our own movement. Then the media saw there was money to be made off it and thus they let one or two token people in. But I think we have a long way to go in diversifying media in general.  It’s very much a grassroots effort and I applaud all the women who have partaken in it.
VDA: The difficulty is there were bigger models back in the day, but now we have “plus models” with agencies who consider a size 10 plus size.  That can do womens’ heads in in a big way.  And yet, there are women like Fluvia, Denise, and Clementine who are getting in. But they are women who primarily have socially acceptable fat, with lots of tits and ass, versus an apple shaped woman, or women who don’t have such “pretty fat.”  It would be nice to see the plus size industry itself be accommodating to all different sorts of body shapes and all different sorts of ages.  I like to show in Vol Up 2 (her magazine) not just plus people, but older women, differently- abled women and different ethnicities.  More efforts need to be made to push diversity.
People sometimes talk about the health issue. They ask me if I am I promoting obesity. But they never talk about the psychological or sociological issues of how people feel about themselves.  It doesn’t really matter…There are women who are a size two who hate their bodies, and size 24 women who hate their bodies too.  There needs to be an across the board effort to help women. The more diversity we see within in media, the better able people will be able to accept themselves and love themselves.  My message is all about diversity.
ME:  What projects do you have in the pipeline?
VDA:  Mainly I’m trying to make Vol Up 2 work, which is an enormous effort because it’s me myself and I for the most part doing everything. I’m hoping to expand to add a little section called Vol Up 2 TV, where I’m interviewing the models who I’m shooting.  And doing music videos starring plus size women. I think readers would appreciate seeing people in motion.  I’m doing my best on my own to make it happen.  It’s a challenge.
ME: Thank you so much for taking time to talk to me. I look forward to seeing what’s next for you.
After the interview, Velvet asked me to be a contributing writer for Vol Up 2.  I happily accepted. Keep your eyes peeled for my first article coming soon!  Below are some links to Velvet’s social media and website. Enjoy!